The vice tourism to Medellin Colombia is hot and growing. Gringos and men from around the world are coming to this beautiful city looking for some prime pussy, late night partying and designer drugs. You can get any girl you want, any drug you want, and party til the break of dawn. The city blows away Las Vegas and other cities out the map, nothing can compare to it. Getting pussy and the late night partying is the easy part in Medellin, but it appears that many of our gringo friends struggle when it comes to buying drugs like cocaine.
Every local in the city is trying to make a quick buck from the visiting gringos. The whores, restaurants, vendors, hotels, casinos, taxi cabs, etc. Gringos make it rain and the people want a piece of the pie. Minimum wage in Colombia pays around $300 USD a month, so getting some cash from tourism is a way to making a decent living.
Cab drivers in particular know more than the others because they drive these tourists all day every day. They know the gringos want two things: pussy and drugs. That’s why they are your best friend when it comes to buying hard drugs like cocaine. Every time we visit Medellin, we hit up the cab drivers for some blow. It’s easy for us because we are fluent in Spanish. However, not every cab driver will have blow so here’s our go-to guide on how to score some yola in case you do not have a connect in Medellin.
The first step is knowing which cab drivers are likely to sell or get you blow. There’s two types of cab drivers will: those that have strip club advertisement stickers in the back of the car and the young cab drivers that look about that coke selling life. The second guys are usually dressed like they listen to rap and wear a Chicago Bulls or NY Yankees snapback. We prefer to get the blow during the evening/night since the cab drivers working late are more likely to be about that life. That party life. The morning and daytime guys can be a hit or miss since they’re family men.
Once you are in the cab, strike up a conversation to feel the guy out. Talk about whores aka LAS CHICAS. If all goes well the driver will tell you how beautiful the women are, where the strip clubs are at and shit. Before you arrive to your destination, ask the cab drivers: “Vendes el vicio?” Translation: do you sell any vice. It sounds weird in English, but this is how you professionally ask the cab driver in Spanish if he sells any drugs. The cab drivers usually respond with, what do you want because they can pretty much get you anything.
Respond with “Quimico” or “Coca.”
Tell him the quantity you want in grams. Each gram comes in a nickel bag. If you’re about the life the cab driver will ask you how pure do you want your shit. Just get the fish scale grade blow aka “Escama.” It’s blow straight from the brick, no cuts, no baby laxative. Anything stronger than that and you are likely to get a heart attack since you’re probably not a cocaine connoisseur. How much do you pay per gram? Escama grade blow usually goes for about $10-15 a gram (30,000 Colombian Pesos). Why so expensive? The cab driver usually makes about $5 on the gram. Still cheaper and way better than the shit you get back home. You can probably get it cheaper if you buy in larger quantities as Latin America countries are notorious for wholesaling drugs to tourists.
Most cab drivers do not have have the drugs on themselves because they’re not fucking idiots that carry it around. Having anything more than a gram for personal use is illegal. What that cab driver will tell you next is that he’s going to pick up the drugs and will be back in 30-minutes. You either get his WhatsApp number or arrange a time you will meet him outside the venue he dropped you off.
Once he returns you jump back in the cab, he’s going to drive around and give you the blow. Before you pay him, test the fucking blow. Always test to make sure you get the quality blow you requested. More likely than not, you will get what you ask for because the cab drivers want repeat business since selling drugs pays more than driving a cab (cab drivers lease the car + pay gasoline before taking profits). You test it and once your shit goes numb, you know you got some quality yayo.
Now you have drugs for your Medellin trip. Don’t be an idiot with it and always give the strippers some blow because they get tired. If you know how to talk to these hoes you’ll be ripping bumps on some bleached assholes.